Bankruptcy of the soul.

So today I learned that filing for bankruptcy is my only hope to get my finances in order.

I cannot find anyone who will move in with me to help me with my bills. I am alone in this.

I cannot find anyone who cares to even understand what a setback this is. I am alone in this.

I cannot find the strength to find hope in spite of this. I have lost.

I cannot understand how I could be so stupid as to let this happen. I am unfit and unworthy of the precious chances I've bee given.

I survived horrible things in my life. I survived an emotionally abusive childhood. I survived teenage drug addiction and angst hell bent on self destruction. I've never been brave enough to be happy.

I survived cancer. A lesson is random acts of pain.

I survived realizing life was Hobbes-a-rific. My life is, in a phrase, solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and far too fucking long.

I am the maker of my own fate -- and this time I have chosen to fail.

Forward.